There have been times when I have found myself looking for the truth; the truth about life and God and if there is meaning behind the highs and lows we go through. I know I am not alone in this, and would say that most people experience this at some point, if not many points throughout a lifetime.
When I was much younger than I am now, I prayed to God for the Holy Spirit. I received it, and knew I had because I could suddenly speak in another language (speaking in tongues). For some people, this experience is a profound thing where they feel immediately like a new person. For me it was much subtler; what I felt most was happiness that I had got the thing I had been asking for for a long time. Over the past 18 years since that day, naturally, a lot has happened. I’ve experienced love and loss, moments of pure joy, moments of despair, marriage, career changes, moving halfway across the world to England… Throughout it all has been the constant of God, and the belief that he has me in the palm of his hand.
Despite my belief in God being an integral part of my life, I still find it difficult to speak to others about him. I fear that I will be judged, or mocked, or looked at differently. This is something we have been talking about a lot recently in Revival London, and sometimes I need to be reminded that whatever others might believe, or not believe, they are looking for truth in something. I have been given a gift from God, and he has given me the chance to be free from shame and fear and confusion, so isn’t it my duty to share this with others?
So to the person reading this, who might be searching for God or truth or something - yes, I have moments where my faith may waiver, and that is fine. God does not judge me, and he does not judge you. The offer is there from him – we can reach out, experience truth and the freedom in knowing there is something out there inexpressibly bigger than us. And that’s a pretty comforting thing.